This journal is now f-locked. That is, all entries pertaining to my life will be locked, as recent events have forced me to re-evaluate my personal life. While I don't think I plan on unlocking this journal, I'm always open to new friends... and a PM isn't even necessary :D
All my fic will be posted to my community untold_diaries although I will still post in my journal. Any entries relating to fandom and fic and flail will remain unlocked, though!!

My bunny is just too cute&hearts
She has this habit of jumping on the tables, so I've been keeping an eye out for her all evening while I'm working at the pc, and I've just discovered her stretched out underneath the table by my feet&hearts
She's keeping me company at one in the morning, you guys&hearts

In desperation, I turn to my flist:

Can someone offer me tips in creating a banner for my friends-only post? Is there a specific size I should use, or is anything up for grabs?
Also: Can someone tell me if there is a way to update my fic comm without spamming my flist repeatedly?
I'd like to update it with everything I've written.

Thanks~

 ... because I'm procrastinating, and getting better and better at it by the minute!


me, on our (admittedly filthy - although i cleaned it an hour ago, i promise!) balcony

Here it is!! And by "it" I mean the summary for my NaNo, Circus.

"In early 2009, Tatsuya Ryuu returns from America with his hard earned degree in business management. He dreams of opening his own business, dreams of making life better for his best friends. To celebrate his return, Hayato Eiji suggests a trip to the circus, and Ryuu finds himself agreeing.

When Tadayoshi Hikaru stumbles across the sight of a boy in a cage, the four of them make a decision that will alter the course of their lives forever, for Murakama Shinji has a powerful gift that many would kill to get their hands on, a gift that is equal parts a blessing and a curse...."


OMG I have like, a day to try and get an outline for this thing, somebody kill me please

Meme response from kailice. I'm fully aware that this means I have no life, lol.

1. OHMIYA! SK!





..... yes, this is seriously how I see Ohmiya..... snuggle-bugs, and completely not shy about it!!

2. lovely fanfics <3

when I think about lovely fanfics, the first thing that comes to mind is A) Ohmiya, and B) Aiba. With Ohmiya fanfics, there's always so much to explore, so many new dimensions to their relationship that can be explored, and I think most of the really good writers in fandom do just that. (And then I think of my poor fail!fic and I want to bury my head in a hole) With Aiba, there are more words than I could use to describe him, but they all amount to love&hearts

3. the "opinionated bitch" ;)

lol, stand up and be counted!! I spent many years being silent, and allowing others to ignore my opinions when they mattered most. Now, I just don't keep quiet at all, lol. And believe me when I say it gets me into trouble, particularly with people who are unused to me speaking up!!

4. DBSK

flailflailflailflailflailflailflailflailflail. Also this:

'There's been an accident,' Junsu says, unable to blunt the impact of his words. 'Jaejoong - Yoochun -'
Yunho's knees give out and he sinks; Changmin grabs his arm to steady him and pulls the older boy closer. His face is grey.
'Where are - are they hurt?'
Junsu is shaking. 'Someone died,' he whispers, and Changmin collapses, dragging Yunho to the floor with him. Ice creeps up into his chest, wrapping around his heart.
Junsu kneels down beside them, and puts one hand on Changmin's shoulder, the other on Yunho's. 'He said he'd phone back, he said he'd phone back and tell us -'
When the phone rings, the shrill tones echo in the silence of the kitchen. Two rings, three, and Yunho is up and scrabbling at the portable on the table. He listens in silence, nods, even though the caller can't hear him, and -
- his face scrunches up without warning, dark eyes filling with tears. 'Joongie,' he whispers.
Changmin makes a small hurt sound from where he's sitting, but Junsu sees the way Yunho's shoulders slump, the tension draining from his compact form. Yunho presses a hand to his head, says 'we're on the way,' and puts the phone down.
'They're ok,' he breathes. 'They're ok.'
Ok, Changmin thinks, the world spinning sickeningly around him as relief leaves him light-headed, they're ok, because they're gods, and immortals can't die -

HALLOWSHONEEN


YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO ;)

So, the manga is definitely getting more interesting!! I half wish I hadn't given up writing for Naruto, or for Bleach. But! But! I may just start again, although I'm not sure it's a good idea, seeing as how it's been a year since I've written anything for either of them. My love though, it is burning.

Hai guiz.

I've got (if anyone wants them) Dreamwidth access codes. Interested parties should just comment on this post!!
Going...
Going... 

i wish i had the courage to tell people how i felt.
i wish i knew where and when i overstepped the boundary with my friends.
i wish i had the strength to make my dreams reality.
i wish i knew why i struggle to make friends.
i wish i could be a better person.
i wish i had my degree already.
i wish my family would sort its shit out.
i wish my brother could find a job.
i wish my dad could learn to relax.
i wish my mom would stop comparing me to my cousin.
i wish i was everything my mom wants me to be.
i wish i was the person my parents brag to their friends about.
i wish i could wake up in the mornings and like the face i see in the mirror.
i wish i could tell everyone i know how grateful i am to have them in my life.
i wish i could stop talking down to myself.
i wish i could remember what i loved about writing.
i wish i could believe in the opposite sex.
i wish i could tell certain people to leave me alone when i want to work.
i wish i could afford that bottle of wine that i've been eyeing up.
i wish i could go to japan and not come back ever.
i wish i could stop wasting other people's time.
i wish i could hug my co-worker and tell her how much i care about her.
i wish i knew more people online.
i wish i knew what to say to let people get to know me.
i wish i knew who to ask about the way things on lj work so i stop sounding like an idiot all the time.
i wish junkichi loved me.
i wish junkichi knew i love him.
i wish i had the guts to tell him.
i wish he knew that i would give up everything for just one day with him.

IT'S THREE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND I'VE JUST BEEN BURGLED. THE FUCKER WAS IN MY HOUSE WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. I WAS SLEEPING WHILE HE CLEARED US OUT.
FUCK MY LIFE

[Title] Ten
[Rating]G
[Notes] If Arashi weren't the group we all know and love today *waits for bricks*

 

meme stolen from omnipresentdmat
YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

01. Your Middle Name:
02. Age:
03. Single or Taken:
04. Favorite Book:
05. Favorite Song or Album:
06. What do you believe is your calling in life? Your greatest passion?
07. What's your worst recurring nightmare/biggest fear?
08. Faith, has you any? And if so, what, and if not, why not?:
09. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes what are they?
17. What is your favorite food?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Gender identity?
26. Affectionate/sexual orientation?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

 EDIT: guys, guys, guys, primroseshows is FABULOUS. I'm just sayin.

( Cut for long-winded ranting. )

You're mine, but you don't love me.
From the first moment I laid eyes on you I wanted you; you slipped into my heart and I wanted nothing more than to make you happy. I was captivated by your smooth skin and the expression in your soft brown eyes, the way you seemed so bewildered by everything yet how curious you were.
I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I wanted to hold you in my arms and to whisper in your ear of the things we'd do. At first it seemed like the feeling was mutual, but I was wrong.
It didn't take long for you to grow weary of me, to find comfort in the arms of someone else. All I wanted was to make you feel special, wanted, but I'm small and unlovable and you're deserving of better. I know now, I could never show you the way I feel.
In my heart of hearts you're mine, you belong to me. I need nothing more than your happiness to survive, even if that happiness doesn't come from me.

PEE ESS: I am currently looking for a good beta. If anyone out there is interested, drop me a line^^

 My love for Sho, it is burning.
Also, for someone who's supposedly on hiatus, I'm sure doing a lot of lurking around here. orz

birthday gift for meee

In my most humble opinion, this is one of the best things I have ever written. The point of the exercise was to describe an emotion without actually using the name of it. I chose isolation, because angsty things tend to come easily to me.

He enters the house silently, closing the door against the rainy night. As he does, the faint sound of laughter drifts towards him from the kitchen. Carefully, one hand splayed against the wall for balance, he toes off his shoes before stepping onto the tatami. His socks make no sound against the matting as he moves deeper into the house, passing by the living room with nothing more than a floorboard's creak to mark his passage.
For a moment he lingers in the darkness, watching them. They tease each other, laughter taking the sting from their words. Their voices are warm, as warm as the dishes they eat from.
His own meal lies in the kitchen: cold rice, and warm milk.
Turning from the lit room he pads up the stairs, feeling the darkness close around him. The house is cold, and he is colder still. His jeans are still damp, but he has long since stopped noticing the discomfort. Rather, he opens the door of the spare bedroom, closing it neatly behind him before switching on the lamp.
A single sheet of paper - her favourite colour - lies in the middle of the empty table. He brushes his hand against it, gathering his thoughts before he picks up his pen. Carefully, in his best handwriting, he pens a letter to the woman who gave him life.

"Dear Mother," it reads, "how have you been? I have thought of you often and wonder if you will remember my face..."